Broken

I am broken.. So broken in fact that I can't even dig my own grave to die in.

Some may say I am over exagerating but those people don't understand. I can't bend over with out something sharp stabbing me. I can't walk far with out my hips protesting. And now I can't even finish my work because my pain gets so unbearable that I get distracted.

Some days are worse than others, but certain situations make things worse and worse. 

My parents don't believe me, they think that I can just pop a couple of Advil and things will be ok. But Advil doesn't work anymore. They think that I can just 'push through the pain' and be alright, but if I ignore it then things get worse and the next day I can hardly walk. They thought maybe if I had a different bed then my back wouldn't hurt so much, it's nice and helps me sleep, but it doesn't seem to be helping in the way that they want it to.

I am seeing a chiropractor because if you have back problems that's where you go. It helps sometimes, but it has been almost a month and things are not getting much better, if anything it is getting worse. I feel great as soon as I leave, but then as soon as 2 hours later I am in pain again.

I am so fed up with all this shit and it is only making my depression worse. I wish I could go to an actual doctor to see what is wrong with my back, get an x-ray or whatever I need to tell me what is wrong. But apparently I am "too young" to be having back problems.. Guess what; I am having them and I am sick and tired of people telling me otherwise.